This question stems from some discouragement I was dealing with a couple of weeks ago. You could probably sense some of the struggle in my last entry. Let me first tell you what exactly the struggle was, then I will tell you how I’ve gotten out of it. In the midst of this I hope you will be encouraged when you encounter such situations, as they are pretty much guaranteed for any Christian who does the smallest amount of ministry or who cares even a little bit about those whom he/she ministers to.

The question I struggled with was this: What am I supposed to do or think when I work hard in my ministry, and see zero results for my efforts? This question was not merely theoretical. It was experiential. I know the answer to the question in my head, but there was a wall in place when it came to grasping and experiencing it in my heart and affections. You see, I was discouraged with my efforts here in Uganda, most specifically with the kids I have developed relationships with in my family group. Now I know I am not here to produce any radical change. God can do that if he wishes. But the real ministry impact belongs to the people who spend their years pouring into these kids, laboring for the long haul. But my hope is that God might use me in a small way, as God has used people in my past whom I only had a chance to know for maybe a week or a month.

I think a few factors were converging to bring me to this point. The first factor is a feeling of restlesness in doing ministry. I do a lot of things here, but a lot of it is not “ministry” in the official sense. I worked part-time at a church before coming to Uganda. I led a ministry. I established relationships poured into some people. Yet here the ministry is much less formal. My heart longs to labor harder for God’s Kingdom, and to DO things, to undertake projects and advancements for God. But this is not the place nor the time for anything big like that. It will come, and I need to be patient. I know God is working on my heart here, big time. I think this is at least one of the primary reasons God brought me here. My work is to let Him work on my heart, to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, as He accomplished His work and will in me.

The second factor is a lack of apparent results in one of the only outward ministries I have here, which I am becoming more convinced is yet another way that God is working on my heart. The ministry is with the kids in my family group. I came to realize a while ago that I can’t possibly seek to disciple everyone, or closely impact everyone. So I picked three guys to meet with. Yet I failed to realize a key piece to the puzzle in a situation like this: Do they want this? I realized that they don’t want to sit and drink in the Word, drink in the weighty matters of God as I would. They just aren’t ready yet. So I decided to just start BEING with them, having fun with them, and let the conversations go where they will. Anyhow, I began to despair of any change in their hearts and lives. I thought they had too much past baggage, and they are too anesthetised to the things of God for it to make an impact. On a deeper level, I despair of God bringing any real sanctifying change in their lives.

I believe God brought me to this point for a reason, and that reason was so that I would despair of any fruit coming from MY efforts, and learn to trust Him wholly for the results. That way He is more glorified. I’ve felt this way often when it comes to evangelism. So what should we do? Should we stop evangelizing and just focus inwardly on our people in church? Of course not. We know this. The right answer is that we should labor with all our might for the gospel, work with people for their joy, keep a close watch on ourselves and the teaching, not grow weary in doing good, and continue on with endurance.

Before I tell you what happened that brought me out of this discouragement, I must ask you the question I am now even asking myself: What is your motivation as you labor in gospel ministry? Are you a results driven person? This is not to say that we shouldn’t desire or expect results. But they will come in God’s way, in His time. Let me ask it a different way. Do you labor that you might see results NOW, or do you labor in HOPE that God will build His kingdom, that He alone will cause growth in His way and time, and do you believe this verse- “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”? (1 Cor. 15:58)

This is something that I am beginning to internalize. One thing that encouraged me was the Scriptures. Looking at Isaiah’s struggle, and especially Paul’s own struggle in these areas, I’m encouraged to see how He pressed on. The other thing that encouraged/humbled me was a situation that arose with one of our family groups here at New Hope. A type of rebellion broke out. You see, each family group is responsible to work and grow a lot of their own food, and take care of their family compound area by keeping it hoed and clean and keeping the grass cut. They should go out every day for an hour or two to work, sometimes longer.  They hadn’t all gone to work in several weeks, and the kids were refusing to work. Without going into the details, these kids are dearly loved by their family father, and by the other workers here. They have poured into them for years. Now we find that they are backbiting and being very mean to those who love them.

I came by to see Keith one day to find him slashing on their compound, which is next to his house. He had been there all day. They were just sitting by, watching him and George, the family father, do their job. The natural consequence of their lack of work is that they would not eat until the work was done. So to show their love, and to disciple their hearts, they went to work slashing. Oh- if you don’t know, slashing is cutting grass with a slasher, which looks like a golf club. I get blisters every time I do it. What humbled me about their situation is that they have worked SO much harder than me in these kids lives, and they are getting open rebellion, not just lukewarmness.

So you know, that family is doing much better, and things are beginning to be dealt with, and healing is starting. But I came to see how small my discouragement was compared to their issues. I felt like such a whiner. My discouragement really was not that heavy, and it did not last long. Not a big deal. But I thought it worth probing into and dealing with so that when it comes in bigger ways later, I will have thought through it to some degree. Long explanation.

On to current events. I preached at the “mega church” this past Sunday, here at New Hope. It’s really just a couple hundred people, which is huge compared to the surrounding churches who usually max out at 50 people. They have been preaching through the Biblical storyline, and they allowed me to preach on the Exodus story. It went well! Thanks to all who prayed. Here are some difficulties I found: I felt very slowed down by the translator, because I wanted to go faster and establish a rhythm, but couldn’t. I was preaching on Genesis 1-15. Not an easy task. But I came out with a full manuscript, and only referred to it during my message. I had one good compliment from Moses, one of my family guys, who said that this was the first time in a while that he paid attention the whole time. I love the honesty.

I saw someone recording the sermon on his computer, so I hope to get a copy of it that I might critique myself more. But it really is difficult with a translator. It is very necessary of course. But I think if I were to end up in a foreign country like Uganda, where most people speak English(at least in the halfway educated parts- many of the villagers know very little English), I would have to be fluent in the common language, enough to preach in it.

Well, that’s all I have for today. I hope you have been encouraged, and I hope you will remember Christian that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. Keeping running the race with endurance, and allow God to take from you the glory that only He deserves. Keep laboring where God has placed you, and don’t slack off when you don’t see results. Cry out to Him and seek His face when you don’t know how to continue on, or don’t know how to make sense of a situation. He is faithful, and will show you the way if you dilligently seek Him.

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