Well, not too much out of the usual. One thing that is good about having a blog is that I’ve committed to updating it once a week, which means that I need to have something to say every week. I need to think to myself, “What am I learning?” Sometimes there is so much to say that I need to just stop writing because it is too long. Other times, like this time, I’m really not sure what I can pinpoint. There are a number of deeply personal things going on which I will not put on this blog, so I am learning things, I just can’t tell you right now. Someday perhaps. So at this moment I’m not sure what I’m going to write about, and my mind is fairly blank. But my fingers may have something to say, we’ll see how it flows.

Is God teaching me things? Is He sanctifying me? Oh yes! There are so many things I can praise God for. God is really expanding my view of His Kingdom, and broadening my horizons as to how I can participate in what He is doing. This morning I read a familiar passage in 1 Timothy: “Preach the Word. Be ready in and out of season. Correct, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.” This whole idea of being ready all the time is what is hard for me. When I am with my family group, chatting with the kids, or doing anything, I often am not ready to bring the Word. I’m tired, and I so often despair of God doing any work in their lives. There are so many who continually reject any kind of spiritual input into their lives. It would be easy if they perhaps got angry, and outright rejected the message of the gospel. But the reaction is something even worse. They just clam up, and get quiet. What do you do with that? What do you do when you are anxiously ready to preach the Word, and the people around you are absolutely lukewarm? I suppose the prophet Isaiah could relate. He was actually promised to have no results. Well, that’s not right- he was promised that his message wouldn’t just fall on deaf ears, but that his message would serve to harden the hearts of the people further!

This is how I feel right now in my family group, with the ministry before me. I met with my guys this week, the small group I had planned to meet with. One didn’t show, which bugged me. But I had them each tell their story. Their stories are not easy for them to tell, but I’ll give you the summary. Moses, about 15-16 years old(many of them are not sure how old they are or when their birthdays are), has been here at New Hope since he was very young, like 1 year old or so. His mother died while giving birth to him. His father gave him to some relatives for short term care while he left to earn money and get financially on his feet. He never came back, could be because he was born with club feet, and his father thought he would be an inconvinience. He goes to see his relatives on breaks, so he does have some kind of family out there. The other guy, Mugabe, has a much harder story. His mother died when he was about 2 years old, and his father died about a year later. He and his sister lived I believe with a relative. At age nine he and his sister ran away, and were abducted by rebel soldiers. Somehow they got away from that, and he was found by Jonnes, one of the founding fathers of New Hope, and was taken in only about 2 years ago. He remembers everything, all the hardship and pain.

Moses hopes one day to find his father. He believes he is in the area, and he knows his name and where he has been. Mugabe wants to be a pastor. I have best hopes for him, but both have significant issues to deal with. To lose you parents is not small thing to get over, and many of the kids have a hard time with this, as you can imagine. I’m still trying to think about what kind of approach to take with them, how to disciple them. Please pray for these guys!

I am preaching this Sunday on the Exodus story. I manuscripted it last week, and realized I have WAY too much. I have about an hour, but I must at least cut that in half because of the translator. So I’m cutting it down, but I’m very excited. My affections are uniting with my head and what I am seeing in this great story. I’m so glad to have the opportunity to do this.

Hmm. What else. Oh yea. I added a fresh crop of pictures to my picture page, which is actually another blogsite. If you didn’t already know this, click the picture page on the right, and follow the link.
To be honest guys, I’m just feeling a bit dull today. Do you ever have days like that? My heart is not in rebellion, but I feel my affections are just floating in space, not bent in any particular direction. It’s one of the days when I need to just fight for joy, pray without ceasing, and just feed my mind with God’s Word more and more. There is something very wrong and dangerous with indifference toward the things of God. I need Him so much!

Here’s something. Let me tell you some very surfacy, vain things I like or dislike here. I like when there’s electricity in the morning, because it means I can make good coffee and have my eyes open as I do my devotions. That’s hit or miss. The generator turns on at 7:00 every evening, so I often have a late cup of coffee which keeps me up until midnight or so, and I just study and read, or take a late night walk and pray, or update my blog(which I am doing right now), all of which I enjoy. I dislike doing laundry. Actually, I dislike it even when I have a washer and dryer at home, but it’s tougher here when I do it by hand. Some of my more fragile, stretchy cotton clothes are taking a real beating. I still like the food. It’s a good thing I like carbs, because I get a LOT of it. I miss good veggies. Sometimes I miss a warm shower, and sometimes I miss actually sitting on a toilet to do my business, mostly because of how many mammoth sized cockroaches live in that hole. These are all very small things, but some of you might have liked to hear. None of this, to me, sways me the slightest bit in wanting to come and live in a place like this or not. I’ve found that the things I thought might be important to me have become less and less meaningful to me.

Sorry if you feel you just wasted five minutes of your life! I’m sure I’ll have something more substantial next week. I’m starting to really get into “The End for which God Created the World” by Jonathan Edwards, and I know he will spark my mind and heart, as he often has before.

“Let us not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we shall reap if we do not grow weary.” -The Holy Spirit via the Apostle Paul

I am officially just past the halfway point of my time in Uganda. Me and a couple of other people from the Institute took a little trip south to Jinja, where the source of the Nile River is. I’ll tell you more about that in a second. First, here is how I’m feeling, having been here for almost 3 months now.

I’m definatly feeling more comfortable here. I’ve thought at many times what it would be like to live here long term. What would I be sacrificing? The first things that come to mind are things like running water, consistent electricity, convenience, foods, cultural understanding, etc. Yet how important are these things to me? Would I be willing to go without them for the sake of the Kingdom? I really think that my answer would be yes, and whether you are in the bush or in the American suburb, you must come to the place where you say yes as well. I’m getting more and more familial with those around me, and am coming to a place where I can more accurately evaluate and confront some of the situations. Right now, as I write this, I think I could totally live here someday. Why not? I think more and more of us should seriously think about spending the rest of our lives building the kingdom in a different country. I’m thinking about it.

I used to think of missions as a thing that is for some, but not me. I’m groomed for American pastoral ministry. At Moody there were a lot of students who were totally sold out for foreign missions, some of them feeling a deep call from an early age. Having lived here, I’m seeing that this is something I could do. My perception is changing. I’m not ready to jump in just yet, as I am still commited to going to seminary when I get back home. If I do end up in Uganda, I’ve wondered what I would actually DO. A few things come to mind, which do excite me. I think I would learn the local language here, Luganda, and become fluent enough in it to preach. Then I would probably partner with New Hope and plant churches. So often the smaller churches lack good leadership and learned Biblical men to teach and shepherd. Many of the bush/village people are illiterate, and I think I would seek to make them literate, so they could read the Bible for themselves. In the meantime I would work with the oral tradition and music to teach. I think I would try to write some good, Biblically substantial songs for them, in order to “teach and exhort with Psalms, hymns, and spiritual songs…” as Col. 3 says. I don’t know if this would ever happen, but it’s good to dream.

And what is at the root of this? It is a desire that is not just in pastors or missionaries, but in all Christians, in all humans for that matter. It is a desire to live for a purpose. Those outside of Christ seek it in money, sex, power, pride, and influence. Those who are Christians know that our purpose is to glorify God and make his name known across the globe. We do this by delighting supremely in Christ, and by becoming consumed and surrendered to God’s great and glorious kingdom purposes. In our hearts we have a deep desire to make our lives count for eternity. I believe this desire is there. I long to be in a situation where I can really surrender everything for the gospel. Yet so much of my life I am never forced to do so, and never pushed to really trust God. Yet if a situation comes along, a calling perhaps, where I can expend my whole being in this life for what I know will last forever, I need and want to jump at it. I need to live out my purpose. None of us will be truly fulfilled unless we do what God made us to do, that is, to be satisfied in Christ and spread a passion for His supremecy(Piper). To the degree that don’t do this we are wasting our lives, and to the degree that we do this we are fulfilling our purpose.

I am preaching at the big church a week from Sunday, so please pray. I will preach on the Exodus, which is exciting to me because of my Jewish heritage, it’s a communion Sunday, and the Exodus is probably the most significant event in Israel’s history.

Oh yea. Almost forgot! My trip. We had a couple of days off from class this week, so me and two other girls from the Institute went down to Jinja, about a seven hour journey. This was my first time traveling the country without someone who knew exactly what they were doing. We took taxis the whole way. Not like a little yellow one, but a white van that was packed. It wasn’t too bad. The problem with traveling in Uganda that way is that it is a bit dangerous at parts, and the roads are mostly awful. Huge potholes lace the road. We took a taxi first to Kampala. There we found a larger bus that zipped us down to Jinja, which is on Lake Victoria.

We stayed at a little resort called King Fisher. I had a small room to myself. I really felt like a tourist for the first time. This was a Thursday when we arrived. On Friday we had a great day of whitewater rafting on the Nile River. I had a blast, and couldn’t believe that I was floating in the Nile! The rapids were bigger and far more exciting than other rafting I have done before. It was quite beautiful as well. In our rafting group there were eight of us on two rafts. All of us were white Westerners, yet we represented five different countries, which made for interesting conversation, especially when the instructor was telling us what to do on the rapids, and the couple across from us said, “We did not understand half of what you just said.” Good times. My greatest memory is when our raft flipped on the final run, and I floated a good distance down some heavy rapids, hardly being able to catch a breath between the rapids and waves of water.

We had to travel back the next day, Saturday. I felt much more confident traveling around Uganda, riding on vans, busses, and on the backs of motorcycle taxis. We spent some time in Kampala to pick up a few supplies and things, and found a little coffee shop which felt VERY Western. It was also filled with Western people, which I suppose was a good business strategy for whoever thought of doing that. I also ran into Matthew, my roomate, who had spent the weekend in Kampala doing some personal business. We arrived back at New Hope just in time for pouring rain.

There were a few other experiences as well, which I won’t talk about here on the blog, but God continued to speak to me regarding my life and future. And no, they had nothing to do with any kind of special relationship in case you were wondering.

In other news, I will begin to meet with the three guys this Saturday to talk about some life and faith issues. I’m really soaking that in prayer.

While in Kampala, I finally bought a cheap phone. Their phone system makes it easy and cheap to have a phone, no plans or contracts. They work like calling cards, sort of. Anyway, I’m saying this so that if you would like to call, you are welcome. Shoot me an email and I’ll tell you more on how that can happen.

I have a host of great pics to put on the picture page. I hope to connect to a place that has a faster connection than this one, because it takes a lot of patience to upload pics from here. They should be on in a couple days. Peace!

If you read my blog entry last week, you’ll recall that I let you in on my process of self-examination and evaluation of my time and progress so far. A few things have happened to improve things, at least in a few areas. We get a lot of church teams coming to visit New Hope. One big team ran a VBS, one team let some of the younger ones on a little education excursion, and one is here now who is just doing some painting and things around the area. I know they are hoping to make an impact on the kids, and I hope they do, for good. I really do. But one thing I have seen is that you cannot know these kids and their lives until you’ve been here for awhile. I feel I am just beginning to catch a glimpse into their way of thinking and I’m beginning to get a feel for the spiritual temperature of a lot of the kids.

One team member, who visited a few weeks ago from Arizona, was talking to the kids in my family group during our devotion time, expressing how blessed they (the kids) were in Uganda, how American’s weren’t blessed, and how we(the team members) are not rich, so don’t think of us that way. They talked about how God blesses and values simplicity, which is how the kids live, and that their worship is very exciting and invigorating, not like the worship in American. Now, I know he had good intentions, and was kind of put on the spot by the family father here to say something, but all I could think was the fact that compared to them, we in American are filthy rich, poverty or riches are no sign of blessing, and emotional/cultural expression in worship is no sign of true affections. Having been here for over two months I see very few children who really seem to really “get it” when it comes to real Christian faith. I expressed some of this last week, so I won’t belabor it here. The point is, these kids need long-term discipleship. I can’t provide this either, but my hope is to just make a deposit into their lives, and let God do what he will. But it does take time to understand a cultural worldview.

I had a conversation this week with the family father I work with, about what to do about our evening devotions. Right now, almost all of the kids seem dead, ready to fall asleep, and can’t wait until the devotions are over. So I asked him what I can do to help in discipling the kids. I also asked him how many of his kids he thinks are truly saved. Out of 24 kids, he thinks there are about three. I think I found my mission field. I was glad he perceived that, and saw the need. In the coming weeks I will brainstorm with him and others involved with the family about what to do about this problem of evening devotions. But what came out of the conversation was exciting to me. As it stand now, I will meet with just the guys in my family group every other Wednesday, and I can talk with them about whatever I want to. That’s a good start. Also, I will start meeting weekly with the three oldest guys, to talk about Christianity, guy things, and where they’re at in their faith. I have serious doubts as to whether any faith exists in any of them, so if anything happens there will have to be a work of the Spirit. Of course, why should this be any different?

I have realized that the situation here can seem hopeless, and I can lack faith in the power of God to work. I must not despair of this. I read a verse this week, a familiar one, Romans 1:16, “For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of unto salvation for everyone who believes…” So I will try to be faithful in bringing the gospel into their lives in a fresh, culturally relevant, Biblically authentic way, that will confront them in this Christianized culture where they live.

I’m also meeting with the boss, the founder of New Hope, to get his thoughts on this matter, which I’m sure he has given a great amount of thought to. I trust that will be an enlightening conversation for me.

On a more personal note, the Lord has given me a great amount of joy in Him this week, in general. I’m so glad that He is not only the God who justifies sinners, but sanctifies them in holiness more and more through their lives, so they become more like Jesus and experience a great level of freedom and joy in this life as they serve Him. It’s great to look back at what God has done in my life, and to look forward to what he will do.

I’m in the process of preparing a sermon on the Exodus from Egypt, which I will preach in a few weeks at the main church here at New Hope. Compared to the other churches I have preached at, this is like the mega church. There are a several hundred people, including most of the staff here at new hope. Should be interesting.

I found out today that we have Thursday and Friday off from class. This is kind of the midway break. I’m planning on taking a couple of the days to go whitewater rafting in the Nile River! I may spend some time in Campala as well.

I spoke with my parents this past week for the first time since I’ve been here. That may shock some of you that it took so long. Maybe you think I’m a bad son, and maybe I could do better. But my folks and I are tight, and it was good to hear from them. It’s amazing that I can talk to them on a cell phone in Uganda, all the way to their house in Geneva.

I know I have not had many pictures recently. I plan on taking some more time this week and taking pictures of the area, and I’ll try to capture more of what I see and do. They should come up at random times in the next couple of weeks, not all at once. So if you’re the type of person who sits at their computer all day at my picture page and hits the refresh button every five minutes, you are truly wasting your time, in more ways than one. But I do hope to have them on soon, so you can check occasionally if you can’t wait.

Grace and peace!

I have asked myself a question regarding my ministry so far. That makes it an introspective question. Yet by putting it on this blog, I am taking it out of the realm of introspective. Here is a look at what I am thinking regarding my ministry  in Uganda so far. The question is this: Am I being as productive as I can be? Am I maximizing my moments and opportunities for study and ministry? As Edwards would put it, am I living with all my might, while I do live? The reason I ask this question is one, because I feel I have too many unfilled parts of my day(which could possibly be because I’m still not used to the slower pace here in Africa), two, because I see a great need for discipleship in the lives of the kids in my family group and I feel I can do more, and three, I want to be a good steward of my time here and of the money from my loving supporters.

I want to take a step back, as I approach the halfway point in the next week or so, and see how I can “excel still more”, as the good apostle says. At this phase in class we are going through how to study the Bible in its different genres, and how to teach, particularly to children. I can honestly say, without trying to sound prideful, that I am pretty familiar with the material. Many of you would agree that it’s quite basic. Many (not all) of the Ugandans here I’m convinced have never opened their Bibles for the purpose of rigorous Bible study. This is evident in the classroom. I have struggled at times with impatience in this matter, but my outlook on it now is to try to challenge my traditional thinking on certain issues and passages, and try to face them afresh. I am also hoping to assist whoever is teaching, and try to add helpful comments and explanations. I am also observing how Keith is teaching these things(on days when he teaches- there are other teachers as well), so I can more learn how to teach them in my future church or mission field, wherever I end up.

So I am not really learning with the intensity that I would like to, at least not in the classroom. But a lesson for me, and for all Christians, is that in the end, YOU must take responsibility for your own spiritual learning and growth. This of course is not to exclude the sanctifying role of the Holy Spirit. But you may find yourself in a place where you are ministering to others, and no one is taking charge of ministering to you. This is true of many pastors, missionaries, and children’s ministry workers who don’t get to hear the pastor preach because of their own ministry to others. For me, I do have at least one person here, Keith, who is making an investment in my life. But I need to push myself to a pattern of life-long learning through my reading, studying, journaling, prayer, etc. This is what I must do in moments here in Uganda. I do read often, but I have not pursued studying and critical thinking with the intensity that I should. There are a number of issues in my mind that I would very much like to unravel and work back into my life.

That was more of the INWARD question, of how I am personally developing, and how I can improve. The other question is pointed OUTWARD. Am I being productive in my outward ministry, the Great Commission, which is the very purpose of my inward sanctification? Here are my obvious ministry venues(there are other more creative venues I have not touched yet): (1)the kids in my family group, (2)my roomate Matthew, (2)my fellow students, and (4)those I preach to. I have at least a familiar relationship with the kids. They know me, and are comfortable being around me, and chatting with me. I am closer with a few of them. Yet I don’t see any real, confrontational discipleship happening in their lives. I would like to take about five of them and start meeting with them weekly, and seek to challenge them more. With Matthew, I want to draw him out more, and try to challenge him with certain weaknesses I am seeing in his life. He is also struggling to find direction right now because after November he has to start a career, from scratch. I like how things are going with my fellow students. I am succesful at engaging them in good conversation outside of class, and they are usually open to going deeper, which is very encouraging.

As for my preaching, I relish each chance I have. If you couldn’t tell by the picture, I did preach this past Sunday on Psalm 1. I thought it went quite well, in both preparation and delivery. I am starting to find a method of preparation and study that seems to work for me. I used this method for this week, and I felt very familiar with my text, I felt I had internalized it well, and was able to make a bridge between the text and my audience. I find that I love to preach when I am well prepared, and have deep affections for what I am preaching on. The church mostly sat on the floor. The walls were thatched, with a tin roof shelter. There were a lot of little kids, and lot of women. Some of the women are single moms, but a lot of the men don’t come because they think church is just for women and children. They stay at home, get drunk, and play cards. This is something the pastor is trying to work on. Speaking of children, while I was preaching, a little girl, probably three years old, wandered behind where I was standing. I took a step backward at one point and nearly stepped on her. I knocked her over and she started crying. It took me a few seconds to regain my composure and train of thought, but I kept on. The people didn’t seem to bat an eye. Welcome to the African village church!

Anyway, to end this introspective glance, I see areas where I am doing well, and other areas where I can do better, and work harder at. I find I have a growing burden to have meaningful relationships with non-believers. I think we as Christians are supposed to. The place I am working in, with the exception of the children, is a largely Christian enviroment. I am pondering and praying about some creative ways to reach out to others who don’t know Christ. They may seem unorthodox and unusual, but I will be in good company with many who have come before. Please pray for me, that I would be immersed in the Word of God, and would dig hard for it like treasure. Pray that I would maximize the moments God has given me, and that I would live with all my might. Pray also for creativity and purpose as I minister to those God has placed around me.

Speaking of reaching non-believers, I had mentioned last week that we are traveling to Gulu in Northern Uganda this week for ten days to minister to the war-torn area. That trip has been postponed, because one of the primary places in which we were going to minister was a school, and they realized that the kids are on break for this month, and won’t be around. I’m glad they figured that out now, before we left. I think the trip will happen, at least I hope it will. In Africa things don’t always go as planned, and a lot slips through the cracks.

I am thinking about many of you, wondering what is happening in your life. Feel free to shoot me an email, if you have the address. Thanks to all of you who pray. You are truly partners with me in ministry, and I know I am not alone in anything that I do.

The idea of discipleship has been much on my thoughts this week. It has hit me on two different fronts, first from the lack of and need for discipleship of the kids around me, and second from the need for more devoted discipleship in my own life. As I look around me at the children here, a few thoughts come to mind. This is a Christian organization here, and they are doing all they can to shape the whole person of these kids. They don’t just give them everything they want because they are “poor orphans”, but they have the kids work for what they get, and have them live at the economic level of the culture around them. They are taught life skills and trades, they are given the equivelent of a high school education with the option of going farther, and there is a community in which they live. This community has a lot of rules which attempt to guard against a lot of open sin.

One thing I find lacking is close discipleship, and solid Bible teaching. Each kid is given a mentor, who will meet with them maybe an hour every few weeks. If the mentor is good and intentional there will be good discipleship going on. But I found myself frustrated and wondering at the lack of Biblical literacy, fervor for the things of God, and discipleship. I’ve had a couple of guys from my family group come over to my hut a few times just to chill and talk, because they are on break from school for about a month. When I try to challenge them in their Christian walk(which seems non-existent), they get very quiet. It seems very normal and common for them to not crack open their Bibles unless it is family devotion time or church time. So I tried to visualize what a week would be like for them, and I tried to notice when there is some direct Biblical/spiritual input into their lives. We have the Sunday morning sermon, and their family devotions three days a week. There may be other times I’m not seeing, but I have yet to see a young person stand out for Christ. Some may have great attitudes and make good life choices, but I think this is a growth point.

My point in telling you this is not to bash New Hope- not at all! In the same way, we can’t blame the pastors of the church because a kid grows up and leaves the faith. There are simply too many kids, and too few disciplers/mentors. I led my family devotions this past week. I made efforts to point to Christ as we trekked through 2 Samuel. I want people to understand God’s Word. I want them to get it! It frustrates me that these kids are allowed to grow up here, and yet be mostly Biblically illiterate when they grow up. What is needed is the Spirit of God at work in people who are willing to really challenge these kids. I’m trying to think of ways I can help in doing this, even some less conventional, unusual ways. It comes down to individuals going after individuals, one at a time. In a Christian home this is easier, because that is a built in structure where there are fewer kids, and two parents. In my family group there are 24 kids. I’m hopeful that God can and does use many different means to pour into their lives, and I am moved to pray for their spiritual development.

As far as my own discipleship, a few things have spurred my thinking in this matter. The first is a biography I finished this week on Keith Green. I love his passion and attitude. I certainly do not agree with him on a lot of things he did and thought, but I love his obedient no-compromise attitude. He was a real doer, who was hearing what God was telling him to do, and he would do it all out, with intensity. I’m encouraged by the fact that he was uneducated. Sometimes I think that once I’m more educated, then I’ll really be effective. But he just took a few promises of God, and trusted them completely. He was, as Piper would say, a man of ONE thing, with a singular passion. This leads me to the next man that impacted me this week, John Bunyan. I listened to his biography by John Piper. He was also uneducated, with only a grade school education. He could read and write. Yet he wrote more than fifty books in his life, most notably Pilgrim’s Progress. He was a powerfully gifted preacher. He was a contemporary of John Owen, who was the heavy-hitting, Puritan intellectual in London. Owen went to hear Bunyan preach every chance he got. When the king asked Owen, “Why do you go to hear that tinkerer?”, he answered, “I would willingly exchange my learning for the tinker’s power of touching men’s hearts.”

Bunyan suffered immensely as well, which ignited his ministry even more. He loved being a pastor. Anyway, the third biography I listened to a few nights ago was that of St. Augustine. I won’t say much about him except that I was impacted by His complete surrender to God, which was totally a move of God on his heart. He was in slavery, and was freed in a moment. I am strongly moved to follow Christ even harder, and seek to die to self more and more. Yet I will certainly be driven to despair (as Keith Green sometimes was) by my failures if I don’t keep the gospel central in my thoughts, and recognize that I am utterly in need of the Spirit of God to even think a righteous thought, or make the least motions toward a good deed. I’m so often up and down, going from a great fervor to serve God better, to a lazy, unfeeling and uncaring attitude. I am utterly dependent on God for the joy to deny this flesh and serve Him.

Anyway, that’s what God’s been teaching me primarily. In class this week we did an overview of Hebrews in a day, and 1 John/Galatians in a day. Good overviews, some better than others. I think some people here have never read straight through some of these books, especially Hebrews. We spent a day on the Kingdom of God, a day on suffering(which has also folded into my thoughts on discipleship, but it would take too long to draw that out here), and a day on Satan and demons. That was interesting, but I’ll talk about it later perhaps. Somebody remind me about that if I forget in the next month or so.

I preach next Sunday! I have the sermons mostly written out, but I have in mind a few major changes I’d like to make. Next monday we are going to Gulu for the missions trip. I’ll talk about that more next Sunday when I know more of what we are actually going to DO. Ebra, the kid who was staying with us, is now gone. He’s been accepted into a Christian drug rehab center in Campala, which is a good thing. I had a few short chats with him, but it was difficult to talk with him, I think because of the effect the drugs have had on his head.

For prayer, you have heard my heart on discipleship above. Just pray that I would be a better disciple, more and more surrendered to his way and rule in my life. I know many of you pray for me daily, and I am very grateful. Grace to you and peace!

This whole concept of abiding in Christ, the true Vine, has been much on my thoughts this week. The idea of abiding is such a good term to describe what our ongoing relationship with Christ should be. On Sunday I read a fairly short book entitled The Three-Fold Secret of the Holy Spirit. The book is a hundred years old, and is way out of print. But the idea of abiding hit me afresh in the last section.

I’ve been reading through 1 John, where John brings up the idea of abiding in the last few verses of chapter two. This drove me back to John 15, where Jesus tells us to abide, and shows us the implications of it. I won’t delve into all that the passage is continuing to work in me, but I will share an illustration from the book I read. He said that our relationship with Christ can be thought of in one of two ways. Think about a battery-powered automobile(this was written around the 1900s).  It is charged, and can go as long as the batter goes. It can run independently, on it’s own, away from any outside source of power. Sometimes I subconsciousy think of my morning devotions this way. Get my battery charged up, and it should run the whole day, good to go. Not so with the Spirit! The other way to think about our relationship with Christ is that of a cable car. By itself, it is dead. It has no source of it’s own, and has no way to store power for later use. Above the car run miles of copper and iron cable, which are flowing with power and electricity. Once the car connects to the power, the car is full of life. The moment it disconnects, it is dead.

The spiritual parallel is obvious. Abiding is a continual drawing of life, of satisfaction and filling. This whole concept is feeding my thoughts on my sermon on Psalm 1, which I will preach on September 1st. The righteous man is like a tree planted by streams of water, yielding much fruit. Jesus said by THIS is my father glorified: That you bear MUCH fruit, and so prove to be my disciples. A lot of these types of thoughts are really challenging and exciting me these days.

This week I am teaching our daily devotions at my family group. They are going through the Old Testament a chapter per week, and are in 2 Samuel. Up ’till now in the devotions the OT narratives have been treated like most people seem to treat them: Good stories of great men, and we should try to be like them. There is no connection made to Christ, therefore the main point is often missed. So I will be attempting to see Christ as He has revealed Himself in the latter life of David. It’s a challenge, but Christ is there! That’s my presupposition, my hermeneutic. I’m trying to teach the kids how to read their Bibles in this way.

This is a good segue into talking more about the orphans in my family group. But first I’d like to answer a few questions that some of you have posed to me via email. I’m sure more of you would like to know these answers than just the one who asked, so I will answer most of them on this blog.

Is time going by slow or fast for me? I must say that it is a mix of both. Sometimes I will email someone, and will await a response. A few days later I will check, and no response. Then I somehow think in the back of my head that it has been weeks, where it has only been a few days. So in some respects it is going slow. But I can’t believe it is almost September! Oy vey. But I’m in what I call a time-groove, where I just live each day as it comes, and don’t really think about time so much. Maybe that’s an African thing rubbing off on me.

The other questions had to do with my family group, so I’ll now talk a bit about them. To update, my relationships with them are really growing, particularly with two 15-16 year old guys named Moses and Silva. Moses it the guitarist, and Silva is a sweet djembe player. But they have gotten a lot more comfortable with me. They often come by my hut, and we just chat about things. Some of the others kids I feel are opening up a bit as well, and are including me a lot of other things, so praise God for that! Certain activities I do can help with this. On Saturday I helped fertilize their ground for a new set of crops. It was really muddy out, so I just went barefoot. I filled up a bucket with this hot, smelly STUFF, and spread it by hand across the fields. Working side by side with the kids really helps. I had the chance to milk a goat as well- check out the pic (and a reminder: all my new pics are now at http://runwithaim.blogspot.com , or via the link on the right).

So yes, I am feeling more included with my family. It took time, but it is growing. Do they treat me standoffishly being a white American, a mizungu as they call us? Not really. There are a lot of white people around who work here and visit, so they are very accustomed to white people. There are still a lot of misconceptions about the West which I am hoping to correct, but they don’t seem to RESENT which people. I do know for a fact, however, that a lot of them have some deep-seeded resentment or anger which may not manifest itself for awhile, but it must be dealt with at some point. This often stems from the fact that they are orphans, whose parents either died or abandoned them. That’s HUGE! The gospel can heal such things, but it’s never easy.

Some of the adult Africans have resentment toward white people, mostly based on what they have heard, or had a one-time bad experience with. I’ve written about this in my entry above entitled “The Healing of the Nations”, so I won’t belabor it further.

Last week in class we went through the Old Testament in survey fashion. Keith highlighted certain themes like covenant, kingdom, prophecy, priesthood, etc. It was refreshing to review again how all these point forward to Christ. This week we are going through the gospel, showing just how Christ fulfilled everything. I feel I have been taught this material quite well in the past, but I am really looking particularly at how Keith is teaching it. He is doing a great job, and I’m taking mental notes on how I would teach an introductory course on Biblical Theology to kids, teenagers, or adults.

One area in which I have moved on is that of the Holy Spirit. About a year or so ago I ceased my cessationist way of thinking, or at least adjusted it. I believed the charasmatic gifts can and do exist today, and are given to whomever God chooses, whenever He chooses. I find myself longing for the fullness of the Holy Spirit in my life, the experiential power that He gives. I don’t think it is right to think that we have all that God has to offer by way of the Spirit at conversion. In the book I read above, he distinguishes between the presence of the Spirit, which we all have at conversion, and the fullness of the Spirit, which only comes by complete surrender. I don’t agree with all that he says, but I do think there is more to the activity of the Spirit than I had thought previously. I’ll let you all know if I start speaking in tongues! But I am still working through this, so bear with me as I discuss it in later blog entries.

One of the family groups here has a small business on the side of making banana muffins twice a week. I ordered some for the first time this weekend, and they are so good! At times I get hungry outside of mealtime, so these help me out. I ordered 30 of them, at 200 shilling each, which amounts to a total of about four dollars for the whole bundle.

Oh yea- side note- I shaved off my beard and cut my hair. I just felt like doing it. I may grow it back.

To close, here are two intersting things you can be in prayer for. First, Matthew’s brother Ebra has been staying with us for about a week now. He’s about 18 years old, and grew up here at New Hope. He got in with the rebellious crowd, and began smoking marajuana. He got deep into to, and became fully addicted, from what I hear. He then ran away, which is very dangerous here. Matthew sought him and found him. He came back later with Jay, the founder of New Hope, and he spoke with him. A few days later Ebra returned to New Hope, and now they are trying to figure out what to do.  Their hope is to connect him with a drug rehab place, where he can try to get his head back in order. Talking to him is kind of difficult, but he’s dealing with a lot of hard things these days. I’m hoping to talk with him more.

In about 3 weeks I will be going on a missions trip! I know- I’m already on one, but the church here is heading up to Gulu for 10 days of ministry. If you don’t know, Gulu is a war-torn area of northern Uganda, where many kids are still homless, and extreme poverty is rampant. If you’ve ever heard of the turmoil in Northern Uganda, or have heard of Invisible Children (google it if you don’t know), that’s where I’m going. I’m really excited for it!

I really am feeling all of your prayers. I really feel God doing unique work in deep areas of my head and heart. Pray that I would continually abide in the true Vine, Jesus Christ, apart from whom we can do NOTHING. Nothing. Let’s depend wholly on Him, all the time, to continually abide. Grace and peace.

To those of you who have been checking weekly, this entry is late. I was planning on doing it on Monday, but we had no power. Power is fairly consistent, but at times it will just not work for some time. My battery was dead, so I had to wait. I was going to just skip it this week, until I found out that there are a few people who actually read it intently and want to know what I’m doing in more detail (thanks Mom and Dad), so here are a few more aspects of my life here, which I had alluded to, but not really talked much about.

NOTE: SOMETIMES MY PICTURES ARE NOT CLEAR ON THIS BLOG, SO FROM NOW ON ALL MY GOOD PICTURES CAN BE VIEWED AT THE FOLLOWING WEBSITE:  http://runwithaim.blogspot.com  There is also a link on the right.

Here is a word about food. I really do enjoy the food here. I think they have a little more variety than some other African countries. For breakfast it is typically white bread, and maybe some jelly if they have it. Some days they hard boil or scramble eggs for us, which is nice. I drink a large cup of coffee. If there is power in the morning, which there usually is not, I can brew it. If not, I settle for the instant stuff, which is not so bad. By the way- we all eat in community. For lunch our whole institute class, about 15 of us, all eat and talk together after class. For other meals it is just the resident Institute students, about 8 of us, consisting of me, an Indian couple, a Congolese couple, two female Americanos, and my Ugandan roomate Matthew. Lunch and Dinner consist of one or two different types of starches. These can be anything from irish potatoes, fried potatoes, matoke(a white, mashed potato looking substance but dryer), another thing I forget the name of, but it’s from the banana family. It’s not sweet at all like a banana, but it’s like a potato. We also have rice or sweet potatoes or pasta at times. On top of the starch goes either a bean mix, a beef mix, ground beef, boiled meat, one day we had chicken, a vegetable mix, or something like that. But every meal is a starch with something on top. There is also fruit which is all grown here of course, and is very tasty. Usually we have a type of cole slaw mix as well. I’m happy with it! I love carbs, so that’s a good thing. Recently I attended a wedding in Campala- I think I mentioned that. But I was served probably 9 different types of food. I’d had most of it before, except for the intestines. I still haven’t had intestines. I didn’t feel that God had called me to eat them. Would would my intestines think, processing other intestines? There is a lot of fruit growing on trees around, which is nearly ready to be eaten. This past week my family group and I harvested G-nuts. A whole crop them. Usually you would roast them, and they are pretty good. At times I crave a sandwich or steak, but I’m surviving. Probably the hardest thing to get used to on the eating side of things is not being able to munch between meals. But that just takes getting used to, I think.

Let me share a bit about the sights and sounds here. On clear nights the stars are out of this world, literally. I have never seen them so clearly. You actually can see what looks like a cloud mist, which is actually clusters of stars from other galaxies. I’ll never get tired of it. I hear crickets, occasionally hear an owl or monkey, and can really hear the bats that live right above us. In the morning, if I am not awakened by my alarm I wake up to the sound of roosters, children on the way to school, monkeys, or some odd sound I haven’t yet figured out. There’s a certain type of bird that sounds like a baby cooing. It’s weird when a lot of them get going.  But there are roosters and chickens running around everywhere. I’m annoyed when I’m trying to nap in the afternoon and a rooster won’t shut up outside my window. There are a lot of fruit trees around, and it’s all very green because it does rain a lot here. I’ll try to get more pics of this soon.

The orphans I work with here. My mom gave me a few questions that she and perhaps others are wondering about, so I will attempt to answer them here. Many are orphaned because of AIDS. An orphan is considered an orphan when his father is dead, not necessarily his mother. Many have lost their parents at a young age, some of their mothers simply cannot care for them, so they bring them to New Hope for care and education. Some parents were killed because of violence, but AIDS and abandonment are the greater causes. Fatherhood is a real problem here. A good father is really hard to find. They frequently abandon or mistreat their families, leaving the children with a lot of inward issues and bitterness growing up. What I do is work with them in the garden where they grow food for their family, spend time with them, and go to their family devotions. All of this is so I can understand them and their culture better, and perhaps make a small impact on them. I will likely NOT be a life-changing person for them, because I’m here for such a short time. My goal is to point them to those who can make that lasting impact on them. That’s all for now on that. I will definately write a good post on the orphans at a later time, with pictures and all.

Last week in class we learned about counseling from the Ugandan pastor. Good guy! Surprisingly solid! I was familiar with a lot of it, but it was a good refresher. This week we are going through the covenants, and trying to show the Christotelic unity of the Bible. I’m quite familiar with this, but I don’t ever get tired of it, thankfully.

Here are a few questions I’m trying to answer right now, which I will leave unanswered at this point: What is “normal” Christianity? What does it really mean to listen to the Spirit? Is it possible to think too much about sin and obedience? Is paedo baptism a valid, normative practice for the New Testament church? What is the role of Satan and his minions? What would God have me do? At what point is my beard too long?(This past Sunday some people joked about being able to see my beard from behind me)

I’m reading three books, primarily: The Works of Edwards(hard), Preaching the Whole Bible as Christian Scripture(medium), and a biography of Keith Green(easy, yet quite edifying and spiritually challenging).

Be in prayer- my next preaching engagement is the first Sunday in September. I’ve had Psalm 1 on my heart for a while now, and I’d love to preach on it, so I think I will. Wow. There really is a lot to say. Thanks to all who are interested and who are praying. Feel free to leave a comment as well, or ask me a question which I can answer for you. More pictures are coming. Seriously, thanks for all your prayer and support. The Lord bless you and keep you!

We are in the rainy season now. That means it rains for a couple of hours almost every afternoon, and is pretty hot and sunny the rest of the time. On Friday of this week we had a community day of personal reflection and prayer. During that time God really revealed a few things in my life which I need to continually face. There was something good about just praying, drinking in the Word, and journaling for a number of hours straight. I felt like there were things that God showed me after two or three hours that wouldn’t have been as clear in only thirty minutes or so. I sensed a need and desire to do this more often.

I crashed a wedding in Campala on Saturday! Well I didn’t really crash it. My roomate invited me, and he knew the couple, so I came along. It was a good experience for me, which is why I went, just to see what it would be like. It was very much like a traditional American wedding. I think weddings in the bush of Africa have a little more excitement than those in the big city. I rode back in a taxi van in which we packed a total of 23 people. My roomate has a saying, “This is Uganda!” He wasn’t saying that today when we woke up and it felt like it was 55 degrees outside.

This week I finished reading a biography of Oswald Chambers, entitled Oswald Chambers: Abandoned to God (c. 1993, Discovery House Publishers). I was very impacted by it, and I recommend it for all, especially for those entering or already in some form of vocational ministry. Many of you will recognize his book My Utmost for His Highest. Seeing how he lived his life has greatly inspired me, and spurred me on to follow the exhortation in Hebrews 13:7, which says, “Remember your leaders, those who spoke to the you the word of God. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith.”  Rather than summarizing the book here, I will try to bring out a few of those aspects which impacted me most.

Oswald Chambers was born in 1874 in Scotland, but he ended up spending most of his upbringing in England. He was born around the time that D.L. Moody(God bless the school that he founded…) was traveling around as an evangelist. His father was a pastor who moved around several times. His father was a very practical man, with a very economic approach to life. This is what brought them to live just outside of London. During Oswald’s childhood he was energetic and care-free. He loved the outdoors, and he loved the arts. I thought this was interesting that this future pastor-professor-theologian-author was passionately pursuing a career in art as a ministry before heading into more pastoral ministerial service. Against his father’s better judgment he went to art school, desiring to reach people in the art community. He was exceptionally talented at sketching. He wrote scores of poetry, and was proficient at piano and organ. He was pursuing an advanced degree in art when he began running out of money. At this time God laid it on his heart to go into ministry. He attended a small, podunk seminary started by a learned pastor/professor who was frustrated with the dry, academic approach of most seminaries. He put together a small group of guys and trained them, with a lot of personal discipleship, rigorous academics, and hands-on ministry.

At a young age Chambers had been zealous for God, having been converted through the preaching of Charles Spurgeon. He taught and preached to young adults at a young age, and was very passionate and feeling about all that he did. I would describe him as a very intense person, not doing anything halfway. But after getting started at this seminary(Dunoon College), he began to thirst for more of a move of the spirit in his life. This began a greatly trying time in his life which nearly destroyed him. Here is an exerpt from his journal: “After I was born again as a lad I enjoyed the presence of Jesus Christ wonderfully, but years passed before I gave myself up thoroughly to His work. I was in Dunoon College as a tutor of Philosophy when Dr. F. B. Beyer came and spoke about the Holy Spirit. I determined to have all that was going on, and went to my room and asked God simply and definitely for the baptism of the Holy Spirit, whatever that meant. For that day on for four years, nothing but the overruling grace of God and the kindness of friends kept me out of an asylum. God used me during those years for the conversion f souls, but I had no conscious communion with Him. The Bible was the dullest, most uninteresting book in existence, and the sense of depravity, the vileness and bad-motivedness of my nature was terrific.”

In short, God purified Chambers through this time and expanded his view of God to great depths and heights. It ended suddenly one night during a prayer meeting. Jesus became so much more sweeter to him, and it was a new beginning. He wrote, “Glory be to God, the last aching abyss of the human heart is filled to overflowing with the loave of God. Love is the beginning, love is the middle and love is the end. After He comes in, all you see is ‘Jesus only, Jesus ever.’ When you know what God has done for you, the power and tyranny of sin is gone and the radiant, unspeakable emancipation of the indwelling Christ has come.” During that time he wondered if he was holding something back from God. He began to systematically lay his all on the alter, including ending an 8-year relationship with a young lady from back home whom he loved.

Let me summarize the rest of his life. Read the book if you want more. He spent a period of his life as part of a couple of different organizations, teaching and preaching in different parts of the world, mainly in Japan and America. He did eventually marry at the age of 35, to a wonderful lady. She wanted to be the secretary to the Prime Minister of England someday, so she perfected her skills at typing and shorthand dictation. But God used he skills differently. She typed out many of Oswald’s lectures and books, and sent them out for publication. We would have nothing in print from Chambers if it weren’t for her. She is the one who compiled My Utmost for His Highest from many lectures and devotionals he had given during his life, yet her name rarely if ever appears on anything he wrote. A mervelous testimony to how a husband and wife can partner in the ministry. Chambers saw his ministry as THEIR ministry, something God had called and equipped both of them to do.

Eventually he volunteered for military service as a chaplain during the war, and he served in Egypt. There he had a radical ministry to literally thousands of soldiers, faithfully discipling, teaching, and just living the gospel. He died young and suddenly at age 44 from a ruptured appendix, and was buried with full military honors.

There is so much I want to say about what he did and said, but here are just a few tidbits that impacted me. The man was hard core about his faith. He would often spend whole nights in prayer, so concerned to lay everthing on the alter. He was a vessel for God’s service, broken bread and poured out wine. During his years of spiritual depression he did not give up or waver, but kept on with the ministry and kept on being molded by God’s hands. Often I wonder when I will be brought through something like that, some kind of depression or suffering or pain. I long to be molded, shaped, and purified by His fire of suffering. What a wonderful gift Chambers was given during that time! If he had a life motto, or battlecry it was the saying, “My utmost, for His highest!”

He was a thinker. He had a low tolerance for biblically illiterate ministers, and he worked hard at his own learning. He was extremely sharp, yet he was not a cold academic. He was huge on the ministry of hospitality. He often had people in his home, and there was a great warmth, a jovial spirit, and a depth which he carried with him and transferred to those around him. He was a fun guy to be around! Yet his speech was dripping with God and His Word. He was full of life.

He was a man who trusted God for everything. He had been married for only a few months, and was sailing back from American to England with his wife. They had no money, and didn’t know where they were going to live. Prior to this Oswald never had a life plan of what he was going to do, and never had a contingency plan if that didn’t work out. He took risks for God, and put his whole self into God’s service. While on that boat back his wife recalls him falling asleep in his chair on the deck, not worried about how they would make it. “Trust God, and do the next thing”, was his saying.

During his life he had periods of intense business. He had literally hundreds of students he was training by correspondence, and preaching engagements several days a week on top of meetings he attended for his organizations. But he never seemed to get overwhelmed, but truly rested in God. Did he sleep? Yes, and this is a good practical thing he said about how hard it would be to get up sometimes: “Just get up first, and think about it afterward.” That’s a good word.

In conclusion, I often wonder at men like Oswald Chambers. I ask myself, what is the one thing that he had that affected everthing else? Usually it’s not a hundred things at the root, but one thing that shapes everything. I can’t be an Oswald Chambers. I can only be who God is making me to be. But I want to learn from his life, and follow him as he followed Christ. He was totally sold out, abandoned to God his entire life. He never thought, “I’m working so hard, while other Christians have a life of ease. I’ll take a break.” I think he truly saw his life as a race, in which he had to run with great pain and perseverance. How well he ran it! He was merely faithful with what God had given him, and obeyed God in what He told him to to. We should look at this runner who crossed the finish line well, and be inspired to run even harder in his footsteps, in which many saints before him have run, eyes on Jesus. His total surrender to Christ is really what makes any great man or woman of God what he/she is. He was one of many who persevered by faith. To end, here is an exerpt from a letter by Chambers written to a friend:

“You ask a question about the baptism of the Holy Ghost- did I get there all at once, or easily? No, I did not. Pride and possession of the high esteem of many Christian friends kept me out for long enough. But immediately I was willing to sacrifice all and put myself on the Alter, which is Jesus Himself, all was begun and done. Holiness is not an attainment at all, it is the gift of God, and the pietistic tendency is the introspection which makes me worship my own earnestness and not take the Lord seriously at all. It is a pious fraud that suits the natural man immensely. HE makes holy, HE sanctifies, HE does it all. All I have to do is come as a spiritual pauper, not ashamed to beg, to let go of my right to myself and act on Romans 12:1-2. It is never ‘Do, do and you’ll be’ with the Lord, but ‘Be, be, and I will do through you.’ It is a case of ‘hands up’ and letting go, and then entire reliance on Him.”

I cannot thank you enough who are praying for me in Uganda. I feel very encouraged and loved. I am starting to miss a few aspects of home, besides all of my close friends and family. I miss being in charge of my life and needs, and this is most pronounced in the area of eating. I have three set times a day when I eat, and that’s pretty much it. I’m used to eating at home, and stopping for a sandwich or something whenever my stomach tells me it’s time. I also miss church! I do go to church here, but many of the songs are not in English, and the ones that are in English are mostly lacking the rich content I’m used to. And having been a church musician for a number of years, it’s easy for me to analyze and critique the services, things like the 80’s electric piano sound, the synthesized drum set, the overuse of the 1-4-5-4-1 chord progression, and (this is the toughest thing for me) the fact that everyone claps on the 1-3 instead of the 2-4, all the time, every time. It’s quite distracting for me! But I love Christ, and I love to worship Him and see Him cherished before His people, and all the things just listed are secondary, Lord help me!

I’ve begun teaching guitar lessons to people who ask. I don’t ever offer it, but just try to help people out whenever I can. It’s mostly informal. I help facilitate our morning worship times at the Institute morning classes, which is a wonderful time each day. We have a song list with lyrics, and many great songs are on there. The part I love, which seems more unique to Uganda, is that people are unashamed to lead out. I usually pick a couple of songs to start, then leave it open for any other song. Inevitably someone will lead out in another song, and we will join in. I really enjoy it when others desire to sing and lead, and it’s not dependent on me.

I’ve had a number of very enriching conversations with Keith(the guy in charge of the Institute, from Chicago, who went to Moody and Wheaton, who’s family is now here, who’s picture is on the right tab). I’ve felt a lack of input and comradery on a certain level, because there are any other theologically astute American men I am rubbing shoulders with here. Ever since I became a Christian I’ve had guys pouring into me, some who are above me, and many guys whom I feel I track with very closely. Keith is really the only guy here with whom I can freely converse with about the state of American church, theology, ministry, my walk, etc. I think he is going to be my informal mentor while I’m here in Uganda, praise God.  

My relationship with my family group is growing more and more every week. I can tell that the kids are becoming more and more used to me being around, and are opening up to me a little more. I had a conversation with a girl regarding someone who was about 28, who was a son of New Hope, who had died unexpectedly during a routine surgery. The whole school went to bury him, and she talked about her thoughts and feeling on this. Great open door! I’ve been playing with them more, and working in the field with them a few times a week. I often joke with them and try to get a little deeper each time. Remember, these kids are orphaned. The guys in my family and I were with one of the families from the UK, playing some games. The father wanted to see if any of the guys had a question for me, being that I was fairly new. After a few questions regarding my age and how many plates of food I eat every day, one boy asked, “Are both of your parents still alive?” Wow. I am so thankful that my parents are still alive, an immense blessing I often take for granted. I am often asked about my parents and my brothers, and I feel a deep inner pride and gratitute when I share about them.

I will now talk about what I’ve learned this week, but I must warn you, it’s kind of long, so if you’re in a hurry read it later. But if you don’t make it that far and just wanted updates on what I’m doing, here are some ways to pray for me: 1. That God would continually impress His will upon my heart and life, not so much for the future, but that I would BE who I need to BE right now. 2. That I would grow in holiness and flee sin and temptation. 3. That God would enrich my relationships with my family group, my roomate, Keith, and my classmates. 4. That I would really come to know God more. Seriously, that’s the biggest cry of my heart right now. 5. That I would be enabled to think more critically and honestly about issues.

That’s a good segue to talk about one of the things that has really been impressed upon my heart and life this week, which is the Fatherhood of God, and my relationship to Him as an adopted son. There are many ways and forms in which God has revealed Himself to humanity. He has given us many natural pictures that we might comprehend spiritual reality. Some examples of this include God as bridegroom(marriage picture), righteous judge(justification), and Father(adoption). This could also include God as Creator, Savior, King, Master, Counselor, Helper, etc.  All of these roles of God are given to us in God’s Word, the Bible, and they paint a picture for us of who God is. There are many colors and shades that make up the magnificent painting of who God is. And the more we find of who God is, the more we find who we are. If God is the bridegroom, we are like a bride. If he is a righteous judge, then we are the defendants.  If he is Father, we are His children. We must not neglect any one of these qualities in favor of another, lest we have a skewed view of who our God is, and who we are to be. Sometimes we can get very hung up on a certain aspect of God, and really miss out on other ways God wants us to know Him. In Reformed circles it’s easy to get very zealous about the sovereign kingship and reign of God that we forget that God is our Father, which is a deep, close, emotional, intimate thing. And it is the Fatherhood of God that I would like to highlight right now, as it was highlighted for me this past week.

True disciples of Jesus, Christians, were once enemies of God, having rebelled against His rule. Because of the work of Jesus Christ on earth, His death and resurrection, we have been “reconciled to God”. (Rom. 5:10) We were once objects of wrath, and now we are objects of grace. (Eph. 2) There seem to be two primary pictures that illustrate this relationship. One of them is justification, which says that we have been declared righteous before God on the basis of the finished work of Christ. What a wonderful and foundational truth! It is to this truth that we cling as Christians. Yet you cannot stop there, as wonderful as justification is. Scripture clearly gives us another glorious picture of this restored relationship, which is the picture of adoption.

I’m reading a book now called From Orphans to Heirs, by Mark Stibbe. In the first chapter he is trying to highlight what he sees as the lost coin of Christian theology. He sees spiritual adoption as an often marginalized truth. In many ways I agree with him. In much of middle class Christian culture we have reacted to affectation and mere sentimentalism in worship, and may be a little bit uncomfortable thinking of God as an intimate Father. I do feel comfortable thinking of God as Father. It seems to be harder for people who have either had no father, or have had absent, abusive, or abdicating fathers. I have had a great earthly father, so it’s not a difficult transition for me to think of God as the more perfect Father that my earthly father points to. But too often we emphasize justification, and de-emphasize adoption, God as our Father, and especially the role of the Spirit in this transaction.  J.I. Packer has a great treatment of spiritual adoption in his classic book, Knowing God. He writes, “To be right with God the judge is a great thing, but to be loved and cared for by God is a greater.” He writes elsewhere that justification is the foundational blessing of the gospel, while adoption is it’s highest blessing. Whether you agree with Packer on which is greater or not is unimportant. I don’t think we need to think about which one is greater or more important. We need to really learn to fully appreciate both, and have a more complete picture of who God is and what our relationship with Him is like.

In both Galatians 4 and Romans 8 Paul talks about the Spirit of adoption causing us to cry, “Abba! Father!” Abba is a close, intimate, familar term. I don’t think any English word is sufficient to really capture the idea. The closest would be something like daddy or papa. But it goes way beyond merely having our theology correct when it comes to the different roles of God. It is a spontaneous, emotional CRY for our Abba. It is a resting in the security and comfort of God. It is a trust in the good provision of God for all things, with no need to fret or worry. It is a painful joy when our Father disciplines us as His children. To realize that a loving Father has brought us out of Satanic slavery into adoption as sons should inspire our love and worship. We need not fear His wrath(justification), only His loving hand of chastening as a Father(adoption). The two doctrines go hand in hand.

Now I am careful about people who hold up one doctrine or truth as THE main truth, as if adoption and Fatherhood are the only ways we are now to relate to God as Christians. It is one of many ways, yet a way which we can never forget or marginalize. The Fatherhood of God is primary in how we relate to Him. See how many times in the gospels God is referred to as our Father. And how did Jesus teach us to address God when we pray? As our Father in heaven. But in that same prayer we read about God’s kingdom, and are reminded of another HUGE role that God holds, that of King. Now the Fatherhood of God and my role as an adopted son is enhanced when I realize that I am an adopted son of the King. A great King. My identity is bound up in my relationship with Jesus Christ, who, by the way is our brother, and He is not ashamed to call us so!(Heb. 2)  What a great truth! The sons of great kings work for the glory and honor of their father, the king, and they don’t revel and participate in things which dishonor the king, or dishonor their royal identity as sons of that king. There are such vast and glorious implications for this, but I’ll stop there.

If you are a Christian, glory and trust in your heavenly Father! Cry to your Abba every day, and express to Him that He is all that you need, and nothing else. You are fully satisfied in Him, and trust Him to lead, guide, and provide. If you are not a Christian, or if you think you are a Christian yet to do not look to God for TRUE provision and satisfaction, you will never be satisified until God is your Father. You will always be in spiritual hunger for a right relationship with your God, for satisfaction in relationship, for intimacy, and a thousand other desires that will not be met until you are adopted by our heavenly Father, and justified in His sight. As St. Augustine said, “Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

 May our Father continue to show us more of Himself, and may we be continually satisfied with all that He is!

God is good! He is continuing to teach me new things, and allowing me to go deeper into His truth. I am continuing on in my routine here as normal, still growing, being challenged, struggling, and enjoying. I feel I have been gaining ground with my family group in a relational sense. I have been spending more time with the kids, going to their devotions, playing games, and participating with them in their daily work in the garden. I enjoy good hard work outside, but I am still getting used to the way things are done. For example, I spent several hours cutting grass with a slasher, which is a tool shaped kind of like a putter, but is straight on the end. You basically just slash the grass(hence the name “slasher”) and cut it down. I had many blisters on my hand before one of the kids showed me a better way to do it. It’s all about the form.  These kids have so much going on in their heads. They all have a deep, weighty and painful past which they are trying to deal with. I’ll write about this orphan mentality probably next week. But it is a challenge to break down walls with them, and I’m realizing how much I need to depend on God.

Matthew and I are getting more comfortable. We have great discussions and joke around often. He has given me a nice window into his life and culture, and it is interesting. In class this week we hit on a few topics. Probably the main topic of the week was emphasizing that God does everything for His glory. We looked at a LOT of Biblical passages, and traced this theme throughout the Bible. The concept was not particularly new to me, but I found myself just being fed, and being led to worship God for His glory and grace. To nearly everyone there this concept was new. We are not the center of the universe, nor the Bible. God is! It was quite a glorious revelation to many, and a great foundation which will now be built upon. It was also very well taught, by Keith. I really enjoy his teaching and his style. Another issue we touched upon was how a Biblical Christian worldview changes our perspective of things like art, science, male and female roles, children, politics, etc. Should we merely put a Christian spin on these things? Or are they radically different under Christ? And how do we live them out in the world in a redeemed way while still being missional? I’ve begun to process these things, and again, I’m sure I will express my thoughts in a later blog.

For this week, here is what God has been impressing upon my heart, and causing me to wrestle through. A good clincher verse which summarizes my thoughts is found in James 4:14, and is reflected in the title of this entry. “What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.” Our life is a whisp of hot air, which is short. Very short. And we only get to live it once. When we reach eternity each of us will know what we should have done differently. But now that we have the Scriptures, and know what is truly important, what shall we do with our momentary mist?

Our lives are wasted if we don’t live them for what we were made to live for, which is God’s glory. What a great purpose in life! And to the degree that we fail to live for God’s glory, and instead live for vanity and small pleasures, to that degree we waste our life. So what can I do with my life, that I might live this purpose to the fullest? The possibilities are endless. I could expend myself on the mission field, plant churches, pastor an illegal church in a closed country. Or I could pastor a church in America. I have a high respect for most pastors, who make great sacrifices and work very hard for the ministry. This week we watched the movie Luther, which is the story of Martin Luther, the great reformer. What monumental things he did! In the end, it doesn’t really matter what we do. God will take care of that. The greater question that faces most of us is this: How can I glorify God more where I am at, and expend myself, even to the point of what may seem radical, for the gospel? What kind of person am I to BE?

As I reflect on my life, and observe the American church around me, I have a sense that we can be too safe sometimes. We say we trust God, but that trust is rarely put to the test because we have so many backup plans just in case. As a result we, myself included, are often afraid to take risks, or rather “so-called” risks. Trusting God is never a risk. But what is it that God may have us do? I can only answer that question for myself. But if you are reading this then you must answer it for yourself. Think big. What can you undertake for the gospel, for His glory? What will it cost? Being that this life is a vapor, and eternity is, well, forever, will you regret giving too much? How many people have you heard of who have given a lot (not just monetarily), and regretted it?

One thing that is spurring these thoughts is the fact that I am 24 years old, am as single as they come, have some money in the bank, and have no payments or debts. Yet I don’t think I am alone in the desire to accomplish something great for the kingdom. Whether you are 18 or 60, you should think seriously about what you can do with the life you have. This may mean raising the most godly family you can and impacting your middle-class neighborhood and church. It may mean leaving your career to plant churches in Kenya. It may mean intentionally reaching out to the women in your neighborhood during the week. I always want to be open to God abruptly changing my plans. Yet I know that’s a little easier for me to say, because I really have no plans. After Uganda I really just want to go to seminary. Beyond that, who knows? I think it would be great if we thought more in the category of radical and unorthodox when it came to God’s Kingdom priorities and mission.

Another thing that is spurring me on is a great need I see in Uganda, which I know exists all over the world. In my family group there are 20 or so kids, and the family father has been there for less than a year. It is nearly impossible to find family parents who will really lead and parent kids for a very long time. As a result, it is hard to closely disciple these orphans, and work with them on close life issues. And because some of these kids have had multiple parents, they are slow to give their trust away, and open their hearts. It’s not like a visitor who comes and goes, nor even like a best friend leaving. It’s their parents. Again. As a young child I think one of my greatest fears was losing my parents. These kids don’t merely need money, clothing, and food. Those are cheap. They need to be adopted. Every orphanage and children’s ministry will fall short of this ideal. I remember thinking this week, “Man, someone should just adopt one or two of them.”

To me, that is outside the box thinking for those who consider it, and it is a sacrificial, loving, joy-seeking venture. I know it’s expensive. I know it can be a pain. I don’t think I know anyone who genuinly couldn’t afford such a thing, especially if God was leading it. I know why I can’t adopt a kid. Why can’t you do it, or do something greater for Him? Is it because it will cost some money, or time, or reputation? I can’t and won’t tell anyone what I think they should do. My thinking has been seriously stirred on matters like this, and I hope that you will begin to ask yourself if any part of your life is being wasted on vanity, instead of being invested for God’s glory and your eternal good.

When we start to think of this life as a vapor, and eternity as huge, what will it look like? What will it look like for you? May God open our eyes to a greater vision of His glory, that we might truly count all things as loss compared to the surpassing worth of knowing Him.